And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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