Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
