You work out of a Hotel?
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
