Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
