Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize