in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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