Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
