my mouth tastes like poor choices
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
