don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
