So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
