Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
