did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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