if you like me you must not know who I am
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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