Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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