So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
