a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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