i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
