when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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