So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
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