you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
You've changed since you got that strap on
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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