I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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