i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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