It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I'm sobbing to NWA
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
