Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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