I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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