I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
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You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
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It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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