im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
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