I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
