i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
