we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
you made out with another girl for some wings
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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