I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
