your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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