it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Randomize
