i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
My sheets look like a crime scene.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
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Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
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I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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