We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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