He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
