So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Randomize
