My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
