Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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