you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
