theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
