and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
