New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
