Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
