You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
