dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
The uberlube is also flammable
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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