So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
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