hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
