I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
