I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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