watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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