she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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