Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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