Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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