He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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