Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
