You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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