btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
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Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
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