I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i will never coherently bang her
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I have tasted many bathrooms
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize