We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
