I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Randomize
