Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize