Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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