come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
