So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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