I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
