It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
